Posted by Naomi on Sep 5, 2010 in
Family,
random sweet nothings... 
Well, Melbourne put on another dazzling display of weather over the weekend… a dazzling display of wind and rain. We only lost power twice, so that was a bonus.
The weekend started with a trip to the city to the Tim Burton Exhibition. Not sure who was more excited, the kids or Hubby and moi. The Green Eyed Girl in particular loves all things Burton. But descending the red stairs the theme music to Edward Scissorhands playing, then standing in front of the black leather bound, bucked and belted Edward costume itself was up there with marriage and the birth of my children on the best days of my life EVER scale. I may have whispered you complete me to the leather legs…
The Blue Eyed Boy was rather taken with the sculptures as well as Beetlejuice and Batman… I was left wondering if Michele Pfeiffer ever ate, damn that catsuit was tiny! Hubby said he thought I could fit into said catsuit… bless!
Burton’s illustrations were amazing and inspired the kids to draw and make when we got home. I also discovered teeny tiny pieces of white lint were all over my black dress in the fluro, glow in the dark section, noice. The Green Eyed Girl was fit to burst with excitement at the Nightmare Before Christmas puppets and I could see her eyes light up when she saw the Alice In Wonderland dresses.
Walking back to the car I once again fell in love with this beautiful city. Federation Square, Flinders Street Station, horses and carriages, trams, parks…people, tourists… I could sit and watch life go past all day.
But, as always the weekend was over way too quickly… and now it’s back to the working week… but this week something is different… this week I have the memory Edward Scissorpants, er Scissorhands.
How was your weekend? What did you and yours get up to?
Image
Tags: weekend
Posted by Naomi on Sep 3, 2010 in
Family,
friends,
wellbeing 
Today I am doing something I have not done before. I am having a mental health day. When I rang to say I would not be in to work and was asked if it was for The Green Eyed Girl who has been unwell (here’s hoping the third lot of antibiotics do the trick) I took a breath and answered,
‘No, it’s for me. I’m calling a mental health day, I have some things I need to sort out.‘
Just admitting it, out loud, made me feel a little better. Admitting that actually some shit was getting to me and yes I needed to take a step back was a huge relief. An even bigger relief was going to my GP and talking about it there and leaving with a referral.
I said in my Hump Day post that I would be writing about all the pink on Twitter this week, I still am. It’s just that for me this means patting the black dog and letting it sit at my feet just for a little. It means acknowledging that all the urging to support breast cancer awareness makes me drown a little. It means (this time) supporting this cause while also saying the things that I usually just think.
It means taking responsibility for my mental health instead of swallowing the blackness back down again and just getting on with it.
There have been, there still are, women I am connected with in a number of ways that have been affected by breast cancer. Friends who have family members fighting it. Family friends have died from this insidious disease. I have watched mothers with babies battle this cancer and the side effects of the aggressive treatments they undertake to fight back against it. I ran in the Mothers Day Classic for this cause, I have pink shopper bags, pink ribbons, I check my own breasts for lumps and get the GP to do it too when I have a pap test. (Which I do every year, not every two because cervical cancer reared it’s head in our family.) I even have a pink avatar for #feelthemupFriday self examination reminder on Twitter.
But… I also have the word blue across my pink toned avatar face. And this is why:
Each year in Australia, close to 3,300 men die of prostate cancer – equal to the number of women who die from breast cancer annually. Around 20,000 new cases are diagnosed in Australia every year.*
Each day about 32 men learn news that they have prostate cancer – tragically one man every three hours will lose his battle against this insidious disease.*
As many men die from prostate cancer as women die from breast cancer but… a national survey by PCFA in 2002 showed that while 78% of women felt well informed about breast cancer – only 52% of men felt informed about prostate cancer.*
*quoted from Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia Website
This month is Blue September raising awareness and encouraging men to face up to cancer & health. Us women are getting pretty good at talking about our bodies, breast checks, pap tests. Everything from water bottles to hairspray has a pink ribbon, and so it should. We are reminded to have a pap test every two years, and so we should be. The more we know about the ways to detect cancer, the more money ploughed into research the better.
But what about our fathers, brothers, boyfriends, friends, sons… are they hearing the message about their checks? Are they seeing support on water bottles? Beer bottles? Manly shopper bags from Bunnings? No, not really.
So, here I am, with a pink face and a blue word. In the background black is lurking. But I will not let the dark swallow me whole. I said I would let the black dog sit at my feet, but I did not say he could stay, so I have a letter and an appointment to begin my own journey. So I can learn to sleep and breathe and say go on get! Get out… go! to the back dog.
Today is Blue Friday. I have a a black dog. We all have pink avatars. Let’s remember our men as well as our women and remind them of the checks they need to make. The more it’s talked about the better it is surely. It’s time to step beyond the man flu jokes and really support and encourage, because equally as devastating as a Mum dying if cancer, is a Dad dying of cancer.
Tags: cancer, the black dog, wellbeing
Dear Wednesday… where have you been? It feels like it should be Friday already. As the end of term three creeps closer, and the lurgies bite, as Winter seems like it may never end (although it almost has) the days begin to drag. But, the top of the hill is here, it’s a short ride to the bottom and the weekend… I can all but hear the collective sigh at that thought…
So, on we go then with this weeks hump day happiness… the time of the week we reflect on what has made us happy the past seven days.
This week I only have one happy. It’s a good one I promise. You see, I have been waiting for this day for just under nine months. I knew it was coming… I have felt feet kicking through a tummy wall… I have kissed a blossoming belly… and I have laughed, and talked, and wished… but yesterday I got the good news… You see my darling friends welcomed a new member to their family. I have written of this family once before, and the loss of their precious Layla. Their big boy has a baby brother… I am an auntie again, and the joy I feel can only be described as love for my friends and their sons. So, that you see is more than enough for me this week. Now, I’m off to sort out flights to wrap my arms around all four of them.
So, that’s all the happy I need this week. Because right now, all is love at my house.
Now over to you… what has made you happy this week?
Happy Hump Day! And welcome to the world little one, you are loved beyond words xxx
N xxx
image
Tags: freindship, hump day, the family that was made, wrapped in love
Posted by Naomi on Aug 24, 2010 in
Family,
random sweet nothings...,
wellbeing Sometimes getting away from it all means taking the kids and the dog. It means finding time when we are all free of work, study and school… for us, this had not happened for a few years. Then, the stars aligned. Hubby’s Grandmother celebrated her 90th birthday, meaning we would all be in the same place at the same time. We finally managed to have a family holiday together. This involved a trip to Tasmania and the chance to return to the family shack. While holidays with kids and a dog in tow are not all sleep ins and lazy days with a book in one hand, a beverage of choice in the other, we did on this trip manage just a little of that…
On a table just inside the front door of our house sits a piece of gnarled, weathered wood. It is, I suppose drift wood… but it wasn’t collected from a beach.
On mantle pieces, book shelves, desks, table tops are the flotsam of memory. Stones, shells, feathers, wood. Items collected from holidays, walks, friend’s homes. The wood at the front door is part of my more recent collection. Most days I glance at it, some days I stop to touch it’s smooth curves and smile at the memory it evokes…
Early on a March morning, as most people were tucked in bed, our house was in a state of quiet excitement. The car was packed, the note was left on the table for the friend feeding our cat and fish, bottles of water carefully upturned into the pot plants. We were ready. In the dark, cold morning rain we set off… Hubby at the wheel, Green Eyed Girl and Blue Eyed Boy snuggled in the back with their iPods, DS’s, books, and an excited puppy, somewhat bewildered at his new doggy seat belt indignity. We turned onto the road and headed towards the city and the boat that waited to carry us across Bass Strait to Tasmania. We were heading home. Well to one of them. It gives me a great sense of happiness to tell the kids how lucky we are to call two places home.
Upon arrival in Tasmania some nine hours later we headed in to Devonport for supplies before hitting the road to our first destination. The Shack.
The Shack has been holiday home to family and friends for the past nine years. Technically my parent’s retreat, but a family home away from home for us as well. As we neared The Shack, on empty dirt roads I had an overwhelming wave of feeling, part nostalgia, part relief after a very stressful and busy term one. We arrived late at night, in the bitter cold of the Tasmanian Central Highlands. The four of us quickly swung into routine. Hubby getting the power on, checking the pump and hoping the water pipes were not frozen. Kids, unpacking what they could from the car, me, getting the fire roaring.
The next four days followed a pattern of quiet relaxation. Strolls to the river, walks along the dirt road, building fires outside and cooking toast over the coals. It was a time of nothing much… and that in itself was perfect.
I have an absolute love for the Highlands. It goes beyond the harsh beauty of the land, beyond the pull of nostalgia. Beyond the tie to family and country. It has become part of who I am. Part of what I am made of. My father is a fly fisherman and while we spent many years at the beach, (often living in walking distance to one) my history is tied to the lakes and rivers. Tied to button grass and the ripple of a trout rise. Following my father’s footfall as he edged along a lake. Waiting with sisters and Mum, a book cast aside for smooth stone fossicking. The boredom of last years magazines re-read yet again. This is a holiday to me. I am happy that my children too find peace in the quiet that this kind of holiday can bring.
On this particular trip there was the added excitement of Hubby’s birthday and our wedding anniversary, having cleverly married the day before his birthday, we always remember both. On the last full day before heading on to Hobart we celebrated Hubby’s birthday. We packed sausages, onion, bread and condiments in an esky. Long sticks with wire sausage holders on the ends, fashioned from a coat hanger came too. We headed to the Great Lake shore. We saw no one. The clear blue of the Tasmanian sky welcomed us, only to be chased away as grey clouds raced across on the bracing wind.
We scrounged for wood to light a fire. Kids, off in separate directions, a challenge for the dog to keep both in check. The lake was choppy due to the wind. But we still managed to skip stones. The sun that broke through cloud drifts made the water sparkle. It was one of those days where the small bickering bothered no one. The quiet was so welcoming and calm. I could feel the stress from the first part of the year blow away on the wind.
With the fire going we cooked our sausages and feasted on them with soft onion, mustard and swiss cheese. After lunch the kids walked along the shore, the sky flashing promise of blue between the grey. I am not sure really what had more beauty in it, the blue or the grey sky.
As we packed the car, while the kids and the dog played along the lake edge, I picked up a piece of wood, I placed it in the front in a spare cup holder, and there it remained until we returned home, a perfect reminder of our day by the lake.
This is my entry for for Kidspot top 50 bloggers. While you’re here, I’d love to know what makes family holidays memorable for you? Oh & PS… If you like this, then just a quick click here and one more on the thumbs up would be much appreciated… thanks x
Tags: birthday, blue eyed boy, green eyed girl, holiday
Earlier this week the Blue Eyed Boy went on school camp. Hubby and the Green Eyed Girl were there to wave him off on the bus while I was at work. I collected the Green Eyed Girl from school at the end of the day and home we went.
On returning home from school there is a flurry of activity, daily chores to be done, afternoon tea to be devoured, homework, screen time. Apart from the natter of how was your day and newsletter reading, permission form filling in, and some homework checking, I have been made redundant in this. Over the past year there has been quite a shift in our home dynamic. The kids have done a lot of growing up. Suddenly the independence and autonomy I had been working towards and sometimes yearning for is here… and as much as I like it, with one child away there was a definite lack of clatter and chat.
The Green Eyed Girl was happily cocooned in head phones and email messaging to a school friend. Tea was sorted. Hubby was working in the cupboard office. As I walked through the kitchen, I had a sudden thought… which I could almost hear pinging off the walls in the oh so quiet house. This is what it’s going to be like when the kids leave home… this rattle and quiet and jobs done…I stopped. I shoved the thought back. I wasn’t ready for it to be a real thought.
Oh, I have plenty of days when I mutter away about please for the love of Pete when will they leave home? But when given a taste (and I know it was a very tiny taste) I am just not sure I’ll be as pleased as I joke I will be. For the first time in eleven years I am aware of a new stage in mothering. The stage where mother bird doesn’t need to be there… the stage when the baby birds have left the nest.
I know this is the way it’s meant to be. I have carefully lengthened and loosened the ties. I know I want independent children who challenge and problem solve and make their own way, even if it is not my way. And I know for sure that the empty nest is still a long, long way off. But this week I have had a glimmer of what that may be like. Perhaps when the time comes I will be a little more prepared.
But I’ll tell you one thing… I sure was happy when the house was full again.
Tags: blue eyed boy, children, green eyed girl, parenting, wrapped in love
Posted by Naomi on Aug 17, 2010 in
Family,
random sweet nothings...,
wellbeing 
As I sit here at my desk, looking out at the cloud rolling in, Washington’s sweet tones coming from the music dock, I realise something. I am content. Now, stay with me on this one… I promise it’s not vomit inducing sugar sweetness.
I’ve been on the wellbeing, happy trail for a while now. Knowing full well in order to survive the rocky times I need to be able to deal with things in ways other than ranting meltdowns. I need to be able to quiet the noise in my head sometimes, and downing whole blocks of chocolate and copious glasses of wine really isn’t the answer. Well, not all the time anyway.
So then, what I mean by content is this -
My life is not perfect (who’s is?) I don’t live in my dream house, I work for the love of it as much as for the money it provides us with. I have worries, sadness and grief that are too raw and I don’t write about in public. Somedays Hubby and the kids drive me a little nuts. Most days the washing pile is higher than the mountain we live on. But I have learnt to live with it – and that was no easy feat. I have learnt that people come to see me, and if they like me, they will not care that my queen size bed has three weeks of crunched up washing sprawled on it. And that perhaps if I am brave enough to let people in, washing pile and all, they may be able to let me in to their home in it’s real state too.
I have learnt that sometimes the things you really want out of life are worth waiting for, and working towards. I have learnt that patience really is a virtue… not that I have much of it.
The Hubby and I took a gamble selling up and moving interstate, and to say it has not all been easy would be an understatement. But, after living in the house that shall not be named, in the suffocating claustrophobia that suburbia felt like for us, we are getting there.
It has taken me until I am fast approaching 40 to realise life can be like pushing the proverbial shit up hill, but man the view at the top is worth it, so I hear, so keep on pushing. I have learnt that sometimes what you thought you wanted is not all that good for you. That letting go is a good thing. That sometimes, the unknown is kind and will, in time show itself to you, and you wont be as scared as you thought you would be.
So, yes, I am content. I look around my rented home, at my things old and new… at the home we have moulded from items given, bought and found… at photos, and books, and furniture. At pets and garden and trees and I smile. Because, in the words of the Rolling Stones, You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.
Image
Tags: build a bridge, the universe, wellbeing
As I stood on the escalator going down I looked at the girl in front of me. Tall, thin, confident. She looked back and smiled, and I fell in love all over again.
How could this person I looked at be the babe I bore? How did she get to be this grown?
Stepping off the escalator we walked side by side towards our store of choice.
“Do you want to hold my hand?” I asked.
“Nope, I’m right,” came the reply, without a hint of regret.
I knew this was one of those moments in time that I needed to remember. I wanted to freeze frame it as my heart clenched. I rummaged through my bag to get my iPhone, thinking if I slowed my pace I could take a photo of her from the back… but she slowed to match my speed. I knew that I couldn’t ask her to walk ahead, the self conscious would take over and the photo would be a lie. So I put my phone away.
I know this is a fragment in time. I know that the path is not always like this. I know there is door slamming, and I hate you! Clashing and worry. Anger, hers and mine.
But this moment is none of that. She may not want to hold my hand, but she still wants to walk beside me. For now, that will do.
Tags: green eyed girl, parenting, wrapped in love
Posted by Naomi on Aug 13, 2010 in
Family,
random sweet nothings... 
I have read a few blogs on ritual and comfort this week, like Jane’s and Melissa’s and it got me thinking about my own.
Wellbeing has been playing on my mind lately, as can be seen in my ramblings on roller coasters and the small happy. For me, ritual means a number of things, comfort, familiarity, belonging… a sense that all is right with the world. It can be hard to find that sense somedays. Work, family, house hold tasks can all sometimes pile up, in the case of the washing that needs folding, quite literally.
This, then is a good reason to have a few rituals that help make the mundane less so… for me the washing folding takes place after the kids are home from school. This started before either the Green Eyed Girl or the Blue Eyed Boy were even approaching school age. When they were both down for an afternoon sleep, I would try to make sure I sat with a cup of tea, a book, a cooking magazine, the tv… just some time out for myself. Upon their waking, as they shook the last remnants of sleep and began rummaging for food I’d begin to fold the washing. It stuck. Now days though I am lucky enough to have two people old enough to help with the washing folding, so things go a lot faster.
I have other rituals too, and these are the ones I really want to talk about. Not the ones that have to be done… but the ones I want to do.
Tea is one such ritual. Most afternoons as I come in the door I like to dump my work basket and put the kettle on. While I wait for it to boil I place an earl grey tea bag in my favourite cup, add a spoon of sugar and sit at the kitchen table. Once the kettle has boiled I pour, stir and let it brew. There is something almost meditative about the way I do this. Every part of the process the same, every day, done with a sense of easing calm. Once the tea has brewed I add just a dash of milk and give it a final stir before sitting at the table again. I might browse through a magazine, chat to the kids, read the school newsletter, even tweet on my phone, but it’s still time out, a chance to catch my breath after the day.
Something else I like to do when I’m pottering about the house is light incense. It fills the house with a wonderfully sweet, earthy smell… one that makes me think of my sisters and my mum. When we move to a new home, the first thing I do is light nag champa day and night until the home is ours. I guess it’s my smudging ceremony. On days that I am home, I light one after the other… and when I go into my sisters or my parents homes, they have that same scent welcoming me back.
Rituals like these are small, and although I said they don’t need to be done, I think perhaps they do. It’s the little things like this that can make a day, give you a sense of comfort, of happiness, of lightness and wellbeing. For me, that’s what the ritual is for… so I’m placing mine in the must do pile.
Image
Tags: house work, ritual, wellbeing, wrapped in love
Ah, Wednesday I wondered where you’d been hiding. So happy to see you! Now, if you could just give Thursday and Friday a bit of a push and get them to move along quickly I’d be ever so grateful.
After a bit of a hump day hiatus, it’s good to be back in the swing of things. I’d forgotten how much knowing I had this post coming up made me look for the happy… sometimes the happy is big things, and sometimes, like this week, it’s little things. To me, it’s often the little things that matter most, because as nice as the big, the momentous, the thrilling are (and believe me I love a big do!) it’s easy to find the happy in them… what is not always so easy is finding the happy in the small and the every day… so that was my challenge this week, to find the happy in the small… and so then, here they are.
As you may know, I have a LOT of black clothes. So, in an attempt to get out of the black rut I wore this red cardi, with a grey top... the only black I wore was boots! I added this vintage fabric button my sister sent me last year... What's not to be happy about with that button on?
On my running leggings there are splashes of mud. Running in the rain and the low cloud, in thermal gear this week was utter, utter bliss.
The Green Eyed Girl's new sequined high tops. Seriously, what's not to smile about?
So, what has made you happy this week? I’d love to know.
Happy Hump Day!
N xxx
Tags: freindship, hump day, running
Posted by Naomi on Aug 4, 2010 in
Family,
friends,
random sweet nothings... 
There has been a bit of a break in hump day posts. It’s not that there has been no happiness, more that I have not really been in a place where I wanted to post about it. I know this is contrary to my very own reasons on why I started this post. It’s also contrary to the rules I made up for hump day comments! But there you go, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
But Hump Day is back! So, here goes…
We had a very full, and very satisfying weekend here… more than enough happened to keep me happy.
- I had a whole hour on the train into the city reading. I had Mumford & Sons on my iPod and a book in my hand… what a lovely start to the day.
- I walked through the city I love seeing the rumblings and promise of the day to come.
- I met up with the gorgeous and oh so lovely Jodie and Megan for brunch. We chatted away like old friends, not all that surprising as we chat most days on twitter and various blogs… so we could skip all that new friend chit chat about weather, and Hubbies, and where we live and what we like, because we know all that already! It was lovely.
- The football. Two codes in one day. What too much? Perhaps, but we did it! Dad got us great seats at the MCG. So, with Mum, Dad, the Blue Eyed Boy, Green Eyed Girl and Hubby I saw our beloved Pies win. Then, Hubby, The Kids and I went to the Rugby at Docklands, and surrounded by a sea of All Blacks we watched our beloved Wallabies lose. But the spark in the kids eyes was worth it.
- Spending an afternoon meal together with family in our lovely hills, in a small restaurant. Great food, great wine, great family.
So, there are mine. More than three… but that makes up for missing the last few weeks!
Now over to you. What made you smile this past week?
Happy Hump Day xxx
Image
Tags: blue eyed boy, freindship, green eyed girl, hump day, twitter, weekend
