Earlier this week the Blue Eyed Boy went on school camp. Hubby and the Green Eyed Girl were there to wave him off on the bus while I was at work. I collected the Green Eyed Girl from school at the end of the day and home we went.
On returning home from school there is a flurry of activity, daily chores to be done, afternoon tea to be devoured, homework, screen time. Apart from the natter of how was your day and newsletter reading, permission form filling in, and some homework checking, I have been made redundant in this. Over the past year there has been quite a shift in our home dynamic. The kids have done a lot of growing up. Suddenly the independence and autonomy I had been working towards and sometimes yearning for is here… and as much as I like it, with one child away there was a definite lack of clatter and chat.
The Green Eyed Girl was happily cocooned in head phones and email messaging to a school friend. Tea was sorted. Hubby was working in the cupboard office. As I walked through the kitchen, I had a sudden thought… which I could almost hear pinging off the walls in the oh so quiet house. This is what it’s going to be like when the kids leave home… this rattle and quiet and jobs done…I stopped. I shoved the thought back. I wasn’t ready for it to be a real thought.
Oh, I have plenty of days when I mutter away about please for the love of Pete when will they leave home? But when given a taste (and I know it was a very tiny taste) I am just not sure I’ll be as pleased as I joke I will be. For the first time in eleven years I am aware of a new stage in mothering. The stage where mother bird doesn’t need to be there… the stage when the baby birds have left the nest.
I know this is the way it’s meant to be. I have carefully lengthened and loosened the ties. I know I want independent children who challenge and problem solve and make their own way, even if it is not my way. And I know for sure that the empty nest is still a long, long way off. But this week I have had a glimmer of what that may be like. Perhaps when the time comes I will be a little more prepared.
But I’ll tell you one thing… I sure was happy when the house was full again.
Tags: blue eyed boy, children, green eyed girl, parenting, wrapped in love
As I stood on the escalator going down I looked at the girl in front of me. Tall, thin, confident. She looked back and smiled, and I fell in love all over again.
How could this person I looked at be the babe I bore? How did she get to be this grown?
Stepping off the escalator we walked side by side towards our store of choice.
“Do you want to hold my hand?” I asked.
“Nope, I’m right,” came the reply, without a hint of regret.
I knew this was one of those moments in time that I needed to remember. I wanted to freeze frame it as my heart clenched. I rummaged through my bag to get my iPhone, thinking if I slowed my pace I could take a photo of her from the back… but she slowed to match my speed. I knew that I couldn’t ask her to walk ahead, the self conscious would take over and the photo would be a lie. So I put my phone away.
I know this is a fragment in time. I know that the path is not always like this. I know there is door slamming, and I hate you! Clashing and worry. Anger, hers and mine.
But this moment is none of that. She may not want to hold my hand, but she still wants to walk beside me. For now, that will do.
Tags: green eyed girl, parenting, wrapped in love
Posted by Naomi on May 18, 2010 in
Motherhood 
When I brought home my first baby over 11 years ago we had an old leather couch that we held up with a plank of wood and some magazines, along with two club lounge chairs. Neither were all that comfy for breast feeding. At first, I found it too hard to feed sitting up in bed… all that elbow dropping, and shoulder relaxing, and sweat, and milk…
My Hubby’s grandmother gave me a chair to feed in. It’s well worn wood, soft with age cradled my arms at just the right height so I, in turn, could cradle my babe as he fed. I loved the chair. Many a day was spent gazing at my Blue Eyed Boy through a milky haze of love and sleeplessness sitting in the chair. I have a memory, and a video, of that chair and my boy on his first birthday… of him peeking out from behind a cream knitted blanket hanging over the chair as a friend fed her new born. It was a chair feeding mothers gravitated towards.
When the Green Eyed Girl was born, she too spent much time with me in the chair, often with her big brother near by. The three of us, in our little bubble of home and togetherness, play school and snatched sleep.
We called it the feeding chair. We still do.
‘Mum! – Where’s my coat?’
‘You left it on the feeding chair!’
I have wiped it’s soft wood from time to time, but hidden in it’s simple curves, tucked in carved crevices are tiny spots of milk… they serve as a reminder of a time now passed… of the days when I was their only world. When they were mine. I will not wipe those spots away. They have become part of the story of the chair itself.
Days, sometimes weeks will go by when it is nothing more than a piece of furniture, piled with coats, bags, cushions. Then, one day as I walk past I remember and a nostalgic wave of mother love washes over me. I remove the day to day life, just for a little while to indulge in reminiscence, a little time away from now. Then, before I know it, the coats are back, and the chair is tucked back in my memory waiting to make me smile another day.
Image source
Tags: blue eyed boy, parenting, wrapped in love
Posted by Naomi on May 11, 2010 in
Motherhood 
So, a few days ago it was Mothers Day. I like Mothers Day. I do. Really, it’s just that… well… sometimes I wonder what it’s all about. Each year it seems to become more and more commercial. Each year it seems to get bigger and I can’t help but wonder if this is what it’s really all about. Because here’s the thing… to me Mothers Day is about family, and saying “Hey, thanks Mum, for being Mum…” To me it’s not about expensive gifts, elaborate gestures… and really, are we as mums putting extra pressure on our own children to be, on this day, perfect? Are we???
No one is perfect. No one. Not me, not my Mum, not my kids… I stuff up… a lot. I can be a right impatient, stroppy cow of a mother. I love my Mum more than I can say, and as I get older, I love her with more appreciation and respect, I’m a mum now too, and I am beginning to understand just what it was like for her with three young children to bring up, and let me just say she did an amazing job. Amazing.
But should Mothers Day be any different to any other day? Really, should it? I just don’t know. I said in yesterdays post, what a perfect Mothers Day I had, and I did. Why? Because there was no pretence, there was no pressure. The house was a mess, there was (and still is) a huge pile of washing to fold that spills from not one but two baskets. I went with the Green Eyed Girl to run in the Mothers Day Classic. When we came home I cooked my girl and me bacon and eggs. Then I went to finish a uni assignment. In the afternoon Hubby and kids went for a walk and watched a movie while I typed away at the computer. And it was the best Mothers Day I have ever had.
There was no expectation that the day was going to be wonderful and full of happy family picture perfect moments. There was no pressure on any one to make the house tidy for me… we all live here, we all contribute to the mess, and to the cleaning up. My Hubby and kids had not been off to the nearest shopping centre to get me the latest thing I wanted (and believe me there are plenty of things I want.) This is not an anti consumerist rant, I’m as consumerist as the next person. It’s just that I think somewhere along the way the true meaning of Mothers Day has been lost.
Surely the simple things in life are what the day should be all about. And really, my kids don’t get enough pocket money to buy me the perfume I really want, or the new GHD I crave. But, what they do have, is the thought, the creativity and the love to make me their own cards, their own poems, and choose from the school fund raising stall items they really think I want. Chosen with all the love and care two children can muster… enough to fill me with love for them over and over.
Perhaps, for me, that’s what Mothers Day is… to remind me of the unconditional love my children have for me, and that I have for them.
So, my Green Eyed Girl and my Blue Eyed Boy, thank you for reminding me that really, (in the words of a favourite movie) Love actually is all around.
Image source
Tags: blue eyed boy, children, green eyed girl, parenting, wrapped in love
Posted by Naomi on Mar 28, 2010 in
Family,
random sweet nothings... 
There has been a complete lack of anything on this little blog of late. Life has taken over, as has the mammoth pile of washing barely contained within the walls of our home. Working 3 days, being on a placement 2 days, having 2 kids, wanting some semblance of a social life, and uni assignments have all conspired against the blog.
But, I have just posted a uni assignment off (for better or worse) and informed the great uni gods (via the wonder of email) that I will not be on placement for the next 2 weeks for family reasons. I feel a bit like a politician using the now cliché line. But you know what? It’s cliché because it’s true. Family life has taken a back seat as I stumble through this uni/work/prac thing and it’s time to take a break.
So, tomorrow we will be headed off to Tassie, via a 9 hour boat trip, to spend time together, see friends, family, and familiar places. I will be webless for most of the first week. No internet. No twitter. No facebook. I will, however have a soft lead pencil and a moleskine. I have posts that are simmering, waiting to come out. I have a dear friend to feed our old cat, the fish, and use our ripening tomatoes. I have the chance the breathe…
See you soon lovely people xxx
Tags: blog, facebook, freindship, holiday, parenting, twitter
Posted by Naomi on Mar 3, 2010 in
Family,
Motherhood 
Today my girl turns nine… nine. She is my baby, how did this happen? I remember the day(s) she was born. Yes, it took 26 hours for her to finally make an appearance. I remember too, that she was born at exactly 2am. Her big brother, sleeping at home with his Granny, fell out of bed at exactly 2am. Her Daddy and I fell asleep sometime around 3am, snuggled in the birth centre bed together, him, her, me.
She had hair, lots and lots of hair. She still does, thick, thick waves of light brown hair. We took her home that day in the same babygro suit her brother had worn home less then two years before. One of my favourite photos of that day is of the green eyed girl, still with her hospital issue knotted surgical stocking hat on, snuggled in our bed with her blue eyed, golden haired brother. Safe and warm under the Indian peacock blue cover.
From the get go our Green Eyed Girl looked passed today and into tomorrow. Just yesterday she started talking about her tenth birthday. One foot in today, the other aways stepping out into the great unknown… seeking tomorrow and it’s promises of things yet to come. Even as a babe she felt it too hard to sleep, sleep may mean things are missed… so no, no sleep thanks.
Her names mean life, radiance, brightness and pearl. Our Green Eyed Girl is true to these names. She is a Pisces princess… a dreamer, sensitive, intuitive… an escapist, idealistic, emotional. She is full of love, laughter and dreams. She loves to cook, and imagines herself as a chef… A dessert chef, in her own sweet cafe paradise. She is learning to stay true to herself, to listen to what her own voice says. She loves clothes, and likes to plan what to wear as soon as an invite is received, a date set… I see her thinking, and planning… that she gets from me.
The Green Eyed Girl, with the infectious laugh, the always looking, always seeking eyes, with a wish for tomorrow to come, happy, happy, happy birthday. Hold tight darling girl, sit tight, for your tomorrow is coming faster than I am ready for…
You may also like Where did the time go?
Tags: birthday, children, green eyed girl, parenting
Posted by Naomi on Jan 31, 2010 in
random sweet nothings... 
Last week the Australian Government launched their new My School site. The Government stated it will give parents and carers information on their child’s school, as well as help parents and carers make decisions about which school to choose. The results that have been published on this site for each public school are linked to NAPLAN testing. This testing is carried out in grades 3, 5, 7 and 9 looking at the areas of literacy and maths.
My eldest child has taken part in this testing. My youngest will do so this year. Before I continue I need to point out I am a teacher. I have taught from Kinder to grade 2, as well as taking on a role as a reading recovery teacher, and a role working with children on social skills. My children attend a local government school. They have previously attended a private school.
While I understand parents want to arm themselves with as much information as possible when choosing schools for their children, I have a number of concerns about the way the information has been presented on the My School site.
The site shows each schools NAPLAN test results – so in essence the information in the site relates to literacy and numeracy. In both primary and high school it relates to only two grade groups. The results are from tests. Tests in themselves hold a range of problems. Testing is not always the best way to determine a child’s ability.
Tests are done in an artificial environment – some children work well to a test, others do not. Some children cope well with the stress of the relatively unknown situation, others do not. Testing like this does not take into account factors such as (for example) whether or not a child has had a late night, is feeling unwell, has had a change in home circumstances that may be adding to anxiety levels. Tests such as this do not cater well for children that learn best through seeing and hearing someone explain a topic, or for children that will understand a question best through a hands on approach. Tests such as this do not take into consideration multiple intelligences – that is the different ways people work to demonstrate their knowledge. For example, some people do well with a written explanation, others do best visually, with diagrams or maps, others do best using concrete materials to solve a problem.
Testing such as this is only a small part of each child’s make up. It is only a small part of each schools make up. NAPLAN testing, and therefore the My School site take into consideration these literacy and numeracy results only. Schools, however, are so much more than this. Where in this comparison is any reference to The Arts? To Sports? To the way children with additional needs are catered for? Where is the reference to the way the school involves the community through shared partnerships, through the way families are (or are not) welcomed into the school. Where is the reference to how staff work together? Where does this site show the way a range of cultures, including our own Indigenous cultures are catered for in a real, ongoing rather than tokenistic manner? The site does not reference how much professional development staff at the school participate in each year. Nor does it make reference to whether staff are aware of current policy, research and practice methods. It does not indicate how behaviour problems are managed. There is no reference to a change in school leadership, as new senior staff and principals can change the way a school operates.
All these factors, and more, go into making a school. While literacy and numeracy are vital, so is knowing your child is respected, and that your child’s voice will be heard with in the school.
So, what am I saying in all this? It would seem to me that the My School site smacks of tokenism. It has simplified each school to a test score. It does not give a holistic picture of a school – no website ever could. Schools by their very nature are complex, dynamic, ever changing places. Some schools have a wealth of resources at their fingertips. Others do not. Schools are not the sum result of a national testing scheme, and that is what bothers me about this site.
So, while I have looked at the site, and at the results of the school my children attend, I will be looking at these results in the broader picture of the school as a whole. Taking into consideration local factors, and local knowledge. I would urge everyone else to do the same. Because it takes a village to raise a child, not a test result, or a web site.
Tags: children, it takes a village, my school website, NAPLAN, parenting, school
The lovely Thea over at Do I Really Wanna Blog? and the equally lovely Jodie over at Mummy Mayhem both tagged me in their favourite photo posts. Thanks guys! I love photos, and choosing just one will be tough. I have been thinking about this while on my forced blogging break, due to study and work commitments (yes, even though technically I’m on holidays.)
The task of choosing a photo has been made easier for two reasons, the first being my old lap top died, and although most photos were retrieved, they are not easy to access for someone as impatient as me. Most other photos have been burnt to disc and are packed away awaiting the end of the fire season.
I also find it hard, because for me, photos fall into a number of categories, kids, kids and friends, friends and me, family… Each photo hold special memories of a moment in time. I have, while trying to choose one for this post looked over many photos… and have smiled a lot. Photos of the family that was made, at music festivals, selling wine, with friends at the beach, beautiful photos of my kids, my family, how can I choose just one?
Well, when it came down to it, I chose the following two… you may have noticed I don’t work well with limits. Boundaries are meant to be pushed right?
Both these photos were taken in Tasmania a stones throw from my parents shack. Now, the thing you need to know about the shack is this – in Tassie every holiday house is called ‘the shack.’ It could be a tin shed with a pot belly stove, it could be an architectural wonder on the edge of a cliff overlooking the beautiful East Coast, or anything in between. On a Friday, the start of a long weekend, or school holidays, when collecting children from school the excited cries of ’I'm going to the shack’ can often be heard.
Mum and Dad’s Shack is situated in The middle of Tasmania, Dad is a fly fisherman. It’s an art more than a sport.
These photos are at the river a short stroll form the shack. I have seen the river covered in a sheet of ice, raging after rain, slowly meandering on a hazy Autumn day. I’ve seen small brown trout wind their way along it, and watched our dogs dive for rocks in it. These photos show Master10 and Miss8 at different ages. The first Miss8 is about 3, her brother 5. The next photo they are 4 and 6. The dog is our dear old boy Solo, who died last year, a gentle old soul who we still miss. In the second photo Miss8 is wearing one of my hats, Master10 has on one of his grandfathers old akubra hats, complete with old hand tied flies hooked in it. Master10 was given this hat when we moved to Melbourne.
I love these photos for a number of reasons. They capture my kids at a moment in time when their whole world was family, shack, water, sun, and snow. They are full of joy, wonder and infinite possibilities….
So now I can tag people to share their favourite photos – and here they are
Emily from Emlykd the strange
Megan from Writing Out Loud
Tags: children, parenting
Posted by Naomi on Jan 1, 2010 in
random sweet nothings... 
Thea over at Do I Really Wanna Blog? Tagged me after she wrote about her 10 things that make her happy… so now it’s my turn, here goes!
- 1. The beach and the sea. I love to dive into the cool salty water and have it take my breath away. I love the salty sun dried feeling it leaves on my skin and hair.
- 2. Feathers. I love them. I have them all over the house…. I collect them, they are beautiful.
- 3. Shoes… they send me into happy head spins.
- Clothes. I am a clothes-a-holic more than a shoe-a-holic…. they really make me happy… they promise so many different things… in another life I’d work in fashion.
5. Cooking and baking… I love planning and cooking meals for family and friends it’s a real joy for me. Baking is a sub category, I can lose my self in biscotti making.
6. Music speaks to my heart. My taste is eclectic… I love to see performers live too when I get the chance, I find music emotional and soul nourishing.
7. My job. Most days I love doing what I do… it makes me happy to be a part of so many little ones lives.
8. Photos. I love taking photos and looking back at them all…
9. My family – for me family is more than just blood… so you know when I say family I mean my friends as well. With out family I am lost.
10. My Hubby and my kids – my blue eyed boy and my green eyed girl, who I look at every day well, most days and think, I did that… I made them…
So, there is my 10. Thanks Thea that was great! Now the fun part… I get to tag ten more people to do their ten too
emlykd the strange
She is Jade
lifeslightlyused’s blog
Oh, the possibilities!
Everyone wants this
Mummy Mayhem
Fat mum slim
Puff Pieces
She Will Have Her Way
Diary of a teenage nobody (this is not a cop out… I really would like some more insight into our anonymous friend)
Image from DryIcons.com
Tags: children, Clothes, parenting, shoes
Posted by Naomi on Dec 31, 2009 in
random sweet nothings... 
It’s new years eve. Tomorrow heralds the start of a new year and a new decade. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the past year, and all in all my reflections have left me smiling. For me it’s been a pretty good year. So, before I say sayonara to 2009 I have some things to say…
Dear 2009,
you have been a pretty good year to me, and for this I want to say thank you. I sometimes joke about getting older, but really, 2009, you have taught me that ageing is really alright. Although I can no longer claim to be youthful, I have found something else… peace and inner calm… and a sense of knowing who I am… Oh sure I still go out, but I stand more to the back… or off to the side… with a more expensive drink in my hand… not looking for something, or someone, just happy to be with those I love.
2009, you brought me a child with double digits in his age… how did this happen? Can I really have been a Mama for 10 years? Can I really? And yes, although they drive me crazy at times, I love this age, where my kids and I can talk, and reflect, and philosophise… I see the dawning of a new era in my parenting life… thanks for that 2009.
My dear 2009, you brought with you a slow dawning that this place I now live is my home. Early on you marked the second year anniversary of the move here. You reminded me that a friend said it would take two years to feel settled and at home… she was right… this is home… I am home. You also brought me friends new and old, from near and far… you gathered them to me… I am happy, and secure and safe… thanks.
This year you also set in stone the long, long held friendships I have with those I left in my old home… we may be separated by high waves and cold, cold sea… but our bond is strong and we remain tied together by soft green threads of ribbon and love.
2009, you gave me facebook friends with a mutual love of late nights and wine… we found our way to each other… across time zones and countries… and now, the future looks bright, and full of laughter, love…. and wine…
You gave me the strength to start this blog, and then you gave me twitter. An interwoven community of support and laughter… a lille blue bird that is so much more than I ever thought it could be.
So, thank you 2009. You have been a good year to me. I will be sorry to see you go… but I hold great hope, and excitement for 2010… and that, I have found is half the battle won… if I look for and hope for, and speak of the good, it will come… not perhaps as I had expected, but in other, less obvious ways… and this is the greatest lesson you taught me 2009… so thank you.
image from DryIcons.com
Tags: blog, children, facebook, parenting, twitter
